Chapter 4: Nobody’s Perfect, but Some are Very Close
Anna was never an impulsive person. She never did anything without giving it a lot of thought and careful consideration. She was a planner. She made lists. She usually made a lot of lists. Sometimes she even made pro/con lists. She never did anything without carefully planning it ahead of time, considering all possible outcomes and knowing exactly what to expect.
Except this time. She had decided to buy a train ticket at the last minute. She didn’t tell anyone she was coming. Then, when the train stopped a moment ago, the man beside her told her that she should get off here, instead of at the depot in Millersville, because this was the mail drop off and it was closer to Glenn Briar.
The old Anna would never have done something as reckless and careless as to listen to a complete stranger, or to get off at an unknown destination, but the longer she was here, the less she felt like the old Anna and the more she began to feel like a new Anna, one that was trusting, carefree, and adventuresome.
When she bought her ticket this morning, and was told that there was no train to Glenn Briar, but there was one to a town close by called Millersville (only ten miles away), Anna didn’t worry about the details … she just bought her ticket and hoped for the best. If she had gotten off in Millersville, perhaps things would be slightly better.
However, things certainly couldn’t be much worse. She got off at the little depot, which was really a mail drop off, between Millersville and Glenn Briar, all alone, and realized what a fool she was. This little train station was really nothing more than a little stone shed and an old wooden platform. There were no people working at the station. There was no town close by.
She didn’t think about the fact that no one would be there to meet her, or about the fact that she wouldn’t be able to catch a taxi to drive her where she wanted to go.
She didn’t consider the fact that the drop-off point would be in the middle of nowhere and that she would be all alone.
She didn’t worry about the fact that she didn’t even know where Glenn Briar was in relation to Millersville, or in relation to this small platform.
For once, Anna did something impulsive, and now she was filled with regret.
She was the only person who got off at this small station. The conductor helped her with her bags, and then the train whistle blew and smoke came out of the engine, and the train was gone, leaving her alone on the platform in the middle of nowhere.
Where in the world was Glenn Briar? For that matter, where in the world was Millersville?
She walked down the stairs, one suitcase in her hand, her tote bag and pocketbook over her shoulders, her larger suitcase dragging behind her clutched by its handle with her other hand. She took the well worn path through the dense wooded area toward what had to be a road.
Once at the end of the road she looked right, and then left. She saw nothing but trees and an endless road on either side of her.
Forget about Glenn Briar; forget about Millersville … where in the world were all the people? Where was she?
She felt a bit of trepidation, but she would not be deterred. She looked in both directions again, and then followed her instincts and started walking left. She walked and walked and walked. While she walked, she wondered about her father, her mother, and this place. Why would her mother leave her father, and her other children, and take only Anna with her when she left? She didn’t stop to consider that, perhaps, she had a good reason. Perhaps her father was abusive to her mother, or forced her to leave somehow, although Anna found both prospects unlikely. He had always been kind and loving to Anna. She had only spent a few weeks of her life with him, but she knew he wasn’t a mean and cruel man.
This made her question the motives of her mother. Why would a woman leave three children behind, taking only one with her, while she forged a new life for herself? Why would her grandparents never question the fact that their grandsons were left behind? How could any of this be true? She only knew her mother to be a compassionate, sweet woman. She loved children. She used to tell Anna that she wished she could have had more children, yet she had had more, and it never appeared to Anna that her mother missed them at all. How could she not have missed her children? She couldn’t reconcile that one flaw with everything she knew about her mother. Her mother loved her very much, so she had to have loved her other children, too.
Speaking of love, would her family come to really love and accept her as one of their own? That was another thought that was in the forefront of her brain. The few times she had met her brothers they were kind to her, but she wasn’t sure she felt love from them. Did they resent the fact that she had a mother for nine years of her life, while many of them grew up without ever having known her? Colin would have been very young indeed when Kathryn Morgan left this place with her baby, Annaliese, by her side.
What kind of man was her father back then? Why hadn’t he insisted on seeing her throughout the years? Why had he waited until her mother died to contact her? Was his wish for her to come live with him someday a sincere wish? Would she feel a warm welcome from him when she arrived? What would Maureen think? Anna shuddered to think of it. Was it utter madness that she thought she could just come here, without their knowledge, and be accepted?
She wanted to be accepted. She never felt as if she belonged anywhere, and yet here, among nature at its most primitive, she finally felt an inkling of belonging—a foreign feeling, to be sure. She continued walking and she took in every sight, every sound, and every smell. It was colder here, and the air seemed thinner, and she was having trouble breathing due to the elevation, and the fact that she was lugging two large suitcases behind her. She could hear the wind rustling through the trees. The trees here were taller than any trees she had ever seen before. The forest surrounding the road was dark and somewhat ominous. What sort of creatures lived in the forest?
If this was one of the fairytales that Anna loved so much as a child, she would say that there was a wild animal, or perhaps a large wolf, lurking through the trees, spying on her as she walked by. She imagined her fairy prince waiting for her around the bend, waiting to protect her, love her, and cherish her. Of course, perhaps her evil stepmother was also waiting for her. She winced and thought that she was certainly glad that she no longer believed in fairytales.
She stopped walking to look up at the massive trees, tall, proud, reaching upwards toward the heavens. She was never into nature, but this primordial forest called to her as a guiding light, telling her that she was finally home. Coming here wasn’t a mistake. It was just what she needed.
After a half hour, she was sweating slightly, even though she was cold. Her arms ached, the leg that she broke as a child throbbed terribly, as it often did, and she had a headache. She was second guessing her decision to come here. She put her hair into a messy ponytail, and shifted the weight of her luggage into different positions, to make the load easier. It was apparent she was not heading toward any town, Glenn Briar or Millersville, because surely she would have seen some signs of life by now … a person, a car, a building. Perhaps she should have turned right when she left the station, since all she saw walking in this direction were more trees.
She continued her trek, but the road was steep and curvy. She contemplated throwing one of her bags down the deep ravine that flanked the opposite side of the road, just so she wouldn’t have to carry it any farther, but she didn’t. She stopped on the side of the road, where the road met the hillside, to rest. The other side of the road was a drop off to places unknown. She saw a yellow road sign that showed a black truck on a black triangle with the phrase, ‘9 percent incline’. Did that mean she had to climb more hills?
She couldn’t do it. She just couldn’t. She took out the crumbled piece of paper with her father’s address and phone number. Though she wanted to surprise them, she would have to call for help. She reached in her other pocket for her cell phone. Flipping it open and turning it on was easy. Calling someone was going to be the hard part, because there was no service in this godforsaken place.
Great. Maybe this was a mistake after all.
She should have planned this better! She probably wasn’t even heading toward Glenn Briar! Goodness knows the only time she had ever driven there was in the middle of the night! The man from the train told her there were black bears and mountain lions in these mountains. What would she do if a mountain lion came toward her? She could always throw one of her heavy suitcases at it, and that way, her load would be a bit lighter walking up these hills … of course, the mountain lion might decide to eat her, and then it wouldn’t matter how light her load was.
With slight physical weariness, she started walking on the road again, up the incline, dragging both suitcases behind her, the tote bag tied to the lighter suitcase. When she left Ohio, it had been a balmy 67 degrees. Up in these mountains, it was probably twenty degrees cooler. She only had on a white button-up shirt and a lightweight red cardigan with a hood. Her twill slacks came mid-calf. She wore white tennis shoes which were already covered in dirt and mud.
She thought she might hate West Virginia right about now. If she were a bird, she could fly away, high above the trees, and not worry about the climb, or the rocks, or the creatures of the forest. She would be free and safe and above reproach. She wouldn’t even have to be a bird … anything with wings would do. She could be a fairy … with wings like a butterfly, and a beautiful gown of gossamer silk, and she could fly above all the dangers down here on the road. If only she could fly. If only.
Unfortunately, she had two legs instead of wings, and one of them hurt terribly due to the injury she suffered as a child.
Blast it all, she couldn’t walk one more step! She was about to throw both suitcases in the gully to the side of the road when a black sports car drove by on the opposite side of the road, heading in the direction she had already come. Anna waved her arms and yelled at it to stop.
It kept right on going. That was rude. Fine, she would throw herself down the gully with her luggage and let the bears eat her, or perhaps all the foliage would grow over her and she could become part of the landscape. At this point, anything was better than walking. She knew she was being dramatic, but in her mind she was the star of this little fable, so she could do anything at all that she wanted to do.
She dropped the handles of both suitcases, kicked one of them for good measure and threw her purse on the ground. This was the most anger Anna had felt in a long time, and it was aimed directly right at her! Usually, her ‘anger’ was pushed back by the armor around her heart, along with ‘love’ and ‘happiness’ and other useless emotions, but something about this place was making the usually impervious armor around her heart crack so that it was beginning to feel again, because at the moment she felt a whole host of things: anger, fear, sadness being just a few.
She sat on one of the suitcases and forced herself not to cry, even though every fiber in her being told her to do so. What would be the harm if she cried out here? She cried in the bathroom at the train station earlier today, and there was less likelihood of someone seeing her out here than there was back there. Even though this place was massive, she was as alone as she would have been if she was hiding in her closet back home.
She was about to give in to the tears when she heard the sounds of a car again. She wondered if she should try to stop it. It probably wouldn’t stop either, and really, would it be safe to get into a car with a stranger anyway? Wasn’t that rule number one that was taught to all children when they were young? DON’T GET INTO CARS WITH STRANGERS! The car passed her, on her side of the road this time, heading in the same direction that she was going. It was the same black sports car and it failed to stop again. She didn’t even have a chance to wave her arms about in a ridiculous fashion this time!
She saw the car turn around near the horseshoe bend up ahead and finally it came close enough for her to see it, but then it flew by just as quickly, again going in the direction of the train depot. What was this person’s problem?
It was a small black sports car. Sleek, shiny and black. Anna wasn’t one of those people who could tell what type of car something was just by looking at it. Some people could tell the make, model and year of a car just by looking at it, but to Anna, she always described cars by their color and how many doors it had.
Therefore, this was a black, two-door, sports car, and it went by her so fast each time it flew by that it made her head spin. A few moments later, it returned. He must have turned around to come back for her, and then turned around again to face the same direction.
It stopped right in front of her. She stood apart from the suitcases. The passenger side window came down in one smooth motion. She leaned over and peered inside the dark tinted window. She couldn’t make out the driver. She knew it was a man, because she saw the sinewy muscles of his arm, wrist and hand as it held the steering wheel, and that was about it.
The man gruffly said, “Get in.”
Anna stiffened, stood up, and backed toward her belongings. She felt another instant emotion, one of which she was very used to feeling … fear. She barked, “Not likely.”
He backed the car up several feet and this time the passenger door opened. He repeated his order, “Get in the car, please.”
Okay, he said please this time, but Anna still wasn’t going to get in his car. Actually, she was about to scream, not that it would do any good, since there was nothing around her but trees and she was certain they wouldn’t come to her rescue, but still, she opened her mouth to scream, when the man opened the driver’s side door as well and stepped out of the car. He walked around the back of the car and stood facing her.
She closed her mouth when she saw him, immediately deciding not to scream. The reason she decided not to scream was because she was utterly speechless. The man in front of her was one of the most beautiful men she had ever seen. He also looked achingly familiar. He was older, but she would know her ‘Prince Charming’ anywhere. This was the face of her dreams. This was the face of her fantasies, her every imagination. He was older, better looking, and though she had only ever seen him twice, she knew it was him.
Men weren’t often described as beautiful, but this man was, in a purely masculine way. He was now in his late twenties, over six feet tall, had hair a shade darker than hers, wavy, layered, and a bit long since it almost touched his shoulders. He wore lose fitting jeans and a t-shirt under a blue dress shirt, but she could tell he was fit.
His light blue eyes, which were only moments before covered with dark sunglasses, were etched in her memory. She recalled how they sparkled and shined and how they seemed to hold more happiness than pain, and more knowledge about her than she was ever willing to admit. He removed the sunglasses while walking toward her, and she thought that his eyes appeared to be smiling even now, though his mouth wasn’t. His eyes were crystal clear, shiny, and bright blue, almost silver. He perched the sunglasses on top of his head, to hold back his long hair.
She backed up as far as she could, but there was a hillside behind her, so she didn’t have far to go. She knew she couldn’t outrun him if she tried, though she instantly knew she was safe.
Then he finally smiled, and his whole face lit up. It was really him.
She might have gasped. She wasn’t sure. He said, “Excuse me for being so rude a moment ago. I wasn’t ordering you to get in the car; I just thought you look like you needed a ride.”
“I’m fine,” she lied.
“Really?” He gave her a half smile and said, “You look lost. Where are you heading?”
“It’s none of your concern,” she answered. Was this real or was she dreaming?
“Gee, you’re not a polite one, are you? But then again, if I recall, you never were,” he smirked. “That’s alright. I don’t particularly care for niceties. Never been described as nice myself. Charming, yes, polite and nice, no.” He reached down for the handle of one of her suitcases.
She reached out for it as well, and said, “Leave my things alone!” She didn’t know what he thought he was doing, but she didn’t like it. She felt overwhelmed in his presence, his charm and charisma as blatant as his good looks.
He ignored her and opened the trunk of the car and placed the heavier of her two bags inside. He walked around her, the same idiotic smile on his face, and picked up her other bag and her tote and threw them in as well.
Then he faced her. “Do you need a ride? I’m taking your suitcases, so you might as well get in the car, too.”
Anna now felt intense anger and annoyance. She wasn’t sure what it was about this place that caused all her emotions to return so strongly, but she didn’t like it one bit, and she didn’t like the asinine, grinning, beautiful man before her!
“Get away from me, and give me back my suitcases!” she ordered. The thought of being alone in a car with him terrified her. She wasn’t afraid of him, but of being alone with him.
“Ah, little Red Riding Hood,” he said, reaching out for the top button of her red cardigan. She tensed up when his hand touched her sweater, and his knuckles brushed her collarbone as it went around to the back of her sweater to touch the hood in the back. He withdrew his hand and asked, “Do you think I’m the Big Bad Wolf? Are you afraid of me? I promise you, I won’t eat you for dinner. I hear fairy princesses don’t taste very good this time of year.”
“I’m not a fairy princess, and not afraid of you, I’m just not getting into a car with someone who’s almost a perfect stranger!” she huffed.
He continued to smile, a lazy smile, where only one half of his mouth went up to the side. She thought it made him even more beautiful. “While I can’t deny that I may be perfect, you and I both know that I’m not a stranger,” he said with a lazy drawl. He leaned against the side of the car, his long legs stretched out before him. “We’ve met before. Surely you remember me.”
“I don’t think I do remember you,” she returned, though she didn’t know why she said it. She recalled both meetings with this man, when he was a teenager and she was a girl, as if they happened yesterday. She remembered him, and dreamed about him, and thought of him almost daily.
He pushed away from the car and circled around her. She turned around so that she could face him. He said, “Yes, we’ve met, three times actually.” He held up his hand, three fingers extended. “I’m sure you only remember the last two times. The very first time we met, you were only four months old, I was six, and I picked you up and then I accidentally dropped you. I didn’t think I hurt you back then, but perhaps there was some brain damage, since you seem a bit rattled now. Who knows?” He shrugged and reached for the bag that was on her shoulder.
When his hand touched her arm she shivered. His touch was electric. “Are you cold?” he asked, throwing her purse in the front seat. “Isn’t your sweater warm enough for you, little Red Riding Hood?” He reached around her, his hand skimming her shoulder, her hair, and he touched the hood of her sweater again. She took a step back.
“You said we met three times. When were the other times?” Anna demanded. Did he remember?
“The second time you were a maiden fair, stuck high in a tower, placed there by a dark knight, and I rescued you. The last time I saved you from an evil witch.”
If only he had rescued her all the other times she had needed rescuing. She used to dream of her fair prince rescuing her from her sadness and sorrow, yet he never did. “Who are you again?” she demanded. She had always wanted to know. Oh, she remembered his name. She spent her adolescence fantasying about this man, and she used to write his name on her notebooks, in her diary, on little scraps of paper, but she knew nothing else about him.
“The better question would be, who are you? Since you’re obviously too rude to reintroduce yourself to me, to make sure I’m not collecting the wrong girl, I’ll have to take a stab in the dark and say that you’re Anna Morgan, right?” Without allowing her to answer, he slammed the trunk closed and walked back over to the driver’s side. He placed his arms on the top of the car and said, “Well? Am I right? Are you Anna Morgan, my maiden fair?”
“You obviously know that’s now who I am, but you haven’t told me who you are yet. Reintroduce yourself to me! Tell me your name!” she said. “And kindly give me back my luggage! I’m not going anywhere with someone I hardly know!” Could this beautiful, perfectly rude stranger really be the young man who haunted all her daydreams from the time she was nine until perhaps last night?
He shrugged again, which she found annoying, and said, “Oh, as I said, how rude of me, but since you’re rude as well, I’m not sure it matters. I’ll remind you that I’m Ian Corrigan. I was told that Anna Morgan was arriving today by train, and I went to pick her up, but she wasn’t at the depot in Millersville, so I thought I would check if she got off at the mail drop off, which seems like something foolish someone with brain damage might do. I assumed you were her. You look like what I remember she looked like, but if you’re someone else, oh well, as I said, my mistake.” He got into the car and slammed the door shut. He reached over to the passenger door, peered up at her shocked face and said, “I could still give you a ride.”
“Who told you I was arriving today?” she demanded.
“Get in the car and I’ll explain on the way to your father’s house,” he replied confidently.
The old Anna would never get in the car with a stranger. Everything inside Anna told her NOT to get in that car with the man. Somehow, though, she slid inside and shut the door, because she knew she wasn’t the old Anna any longer, and she didn’t think she liked that thought any better than she liked him.