Eliza pushed her way carefully through the crowds that were gathering in the foyer of the theatre. The place was jammed packed with Goths of all ages and sizes, buying the highly priced merchandise. Teeshirts and CDs were flying off the shelves. She looked around to see if there was anywhere she could sit down, but of course there wasn't. Resting a hand on her swollen abdomen she tried to make her way through to the concession stand, an over priced can of diet coke later and the girl serving felt sorry enough for her to offer the use of a stack of boxes as an impromptu seat.

“You're a bit far on to be coming to this thing aren't you?” the girl asked, nodding towards Eliza's stomach.

“Eight and a half months, but it was my only chance, due to go into hospital tomorrow to have the little one.” She replied, sipping at the coke.

“Well I hope you've got a good ticket. Its going to be bedlam in there.”

“Front row.” Eliza grinned. “Bought it the day they went on sale. I've followed Damnations Empire Republic since the early days in Norway.”

“You'd have to be a huge fan to risk it this close. Mind you the lead singer is gorgeous,”

Eliza nodded and closed her eyes for a moment, remembering when DER had come to the Castle she worked at to record the video for one of their early tracks. That's where she's met HIM. She'd been taking the children to school early for a trip when he'd come out of the side door. They'd gone riding that day and become inseparable. She'd worked, taking her holidays when she could to go and visit him, Bjartr Gunnarsson. The lead singer of one of the top love metal bands in the world.

Eliza felt the baby kick, hard, against her stomach wall, and rubbed the spot gently before standing and making her way into the arena. She could feel the tears stinging her eyes as she made her way down the aisle to where her seat was. The security looked worriedly at her abdomen. One of them approached slowly.

“Need to make sure its all you, Love” he said, almost appologetically. “You with anyone?”

“Just me and the bump, that's all. Just the two of us in the world” she answered honestly, ignoring the tears as they fell. the guard handed her a tissue. “You sure you should be here, its going to get crowded.” he said in a concerned voice.

“I have to be. It may well be my last chance.” Eliza explained.

“I'm over on that exit there, if you need anything” he pointed to the doors in the back. OK?”

Eliza nodded and sat down in her seat, grateful for the kindness.

Bjartr took a last look in the mirror checking his stage make up for the last time. He'd really looked forward to the UK tour when they'd started to arrange it, it had meant two months near Eliza, but she was gone, ripping his heart out when she's packed and left. He still didn't know what had gone wrong. He'd left for a week in the studio, and when he's got back home the place was bare, he hadn't been able to get hold of her, she didn't answer her phone and his letters had been sent back unopened. Slipping on the velvet jacket, he pulled up the collar and headed for the stage, the opening act was just finishing up.

The roar from the crowd let him know that they had been announced and the rest of the gang ran onto the stage. The opening bars of the first song started and Bjartr ran on into the spotlight.

Eliza felt her heart jump as he came on stage. He still looked like some sort of god to her eyes. Long dark hair reaching below his shoulders, and those incredible eyes. His charisma held the audience captive. He could talk the birds out of the trees. Eliza listened as his voice washed across her like a familiar blanket. This had been a stupid idea. She shouldn't have come.

Unfortunately the baby decided to lay on a nerve at that point, driving the breath from her body. She couldn't leave even if she wanted to. She looked up at the stage. They'd brought out a stool for him to sit on while he did a couple of slower songs. Eliza took a few deep calming breaths, she'd hoped to be out of here at this point, they always brought the lights up so he could croon in that amazing baritone voice, just to one or two of the female fans. And he would see her, and have her escorted out...she'd broken the terms of the restraining order just to come to the concert.


Eliza waited while Kai was doing his drums solo and Einnar standing by on guitar. Eliza's mind was driven back to the last time they'd all been together. Bjartr had been heading to the studio for a solid week, she'd been going to stay on in his house, he'd kissed her goodbye so sweetly when he'd left with the guys. In less than an hour it had all changed. Jonna had arrived with a court order, shoving her out of the house, the police threatening to arrest her. She'd been allowed to pack all her stuff and escorted to the airport and ordered out of the country, not that she would have stayed without him. A flight from Bergen to Aberdeen had brought her back to work, but she found out she was pregnant son afterwards. The family couldn't have a single mum as a nanny so she'd lost her job and her house in one go. Now she had just enough money to treat herself to this gig and get back to the dingy one room bedsit she'd managed to rent. When the little one arrived she'd have to get something better, if she could. She'd been applying for jobs for months.

Eliza had honestly thought that Bjartr had loved her. He'd talked about marriage, about them starting a family.

The music started up for Gone with the Sin. Eliza let the tears fall, he'd written it when a friend's baby had died and she'd held him all night.

I love your skin oh so white
I love your touch cold as ice
And I love every single tear you cry
I just love the way you're losing your life

Ohohohohoh my Baby, how beautiful you are
Ohohohohoh my Darling, completely torn apart
You're gone with the sin my Baby and beautiful you are
So gone with the sin my Darling

I adore the despair in your eyes
I worship your lips once red as wine
I crave for your scent sending shivers down my spine
I just love the way you're running out of life

Ohohohohoh my Baby, how beautiful you are
Ohohohohoh my Darling, completely torn apart
You're gone with the sin my Baby and beautiful you are
So gone with the sin my Darling.


Eliza could feel every emotion playing in the voice that used to whisper her to sleep at night. The baby was settling, he always did when she played Bjartr's music, and he'd moved so she got some relief from the pain. Shifting in her seat Eliza wondered if she could make a break for it before the lights came up, she was just standing, but luck wasn't with her. The lights came up in the area, causing the audience to start shouting. Bjartr had retrieved a book from the wings and started to read. It was Edgar Allan Poe, it was the way he translated from English to Norweigan, French and German that always amazed her. Eliza sank as low as she could in the chair as he paced up and down, there were enough people up on their feet to hide her from sight.
She looked into the wings to see Jonna standing there, a broad smile on the woman's face. Bjartr threw Jonna a kiss before he started his next song...

Eliza couldn't take it any more and managed to slip out her seat, heading for the exit where the nice security guard had said he would be.

Kai was standing there, Eliza looked straight into his eyes and nearly fainted. It had been six months since she'd seen him. The drummer had taken his break when the guitar and vocals bit came on and had come out to snag a couple of cans from the front of house. It had been hot under the lights.

“Lizzy? Is that you?” he asked, his accent hardly showing.

“Hi, Kai, how are you doing?”” Eliza asked reticently, worried about her reception.

“Not as well as you, obviously. When's the little one due” the huge man moved forward to touch the obviously pregnant woman's stomach.

“Next Thursday. It's a boy.” Eliza couldn't stop the tears from escaping down her face.

“Is that why you ran. You didn't want to tell him. Come on Liz we were friends for years. Do you now how much we missed you. Rowan searched everywhere for you.”

“Tell Rowan I miss her, and I'll write when I can. Look i'm not supposed to even talk to you, the court order says its prison if I contact any member of the band or entourage.” Eliza looked worriedly at the security man who was busy getting a chair for her. “You won't tell will you?” She begged.


“Not if you sit down right now and rest. Its been a while since I helped deliver a baby, my eldest is nearly thirty” he grinned at her as Eliza sank down into the chair,

“It is Bjartr's isn't it?” Kai asked, suddenly worried he might have got the wrong idea.

“Yes, a son. I've found a lovely family for him to go to. I wanted to keep him so much, but without a job or money and no back up, I didn't think I could. He'll be well loved, you needn't worry about that.”

Kai whispered something to the guard and then sank down on his knees. “He looked everywhere for you, you know. Everywhere. He couldn't understand why you left.”

Eliza started laughing. “Is that what he told you?” she asked and shook her head when Kai nodded.

“Bjartr always said he wanted to fall in love with someone who spoke Norweigan properly, so he could express his feelings fully. Did you know that?” she said softly as Kai stroked her hand. “I always knew I wasn't quite what he wanted, all your girlfriends got put into the videos, not me, he was always slightly ashamed of me.”

Kai started to talk, but she put her finger across his mouth. “Don't deny it. I got used to it, I just loved him so much. Then that last weekend. I'd flown out to be with you before you hid in the studio for the last week finishing off the new CD, its great by the way.”

Kai smiled and stayed where he was, but a quick glance told him that reinforcements were on their way.
“Jonna came to the house, about half an hour after you had all left, she had a court order to get me to leave, and police there to make sure I did. They took my mobile, took everything he'd given me. I tried to get in touch, but all my letters came back unopened. They didn't even let me take the pictures of us together. I had nothing Bjartr gave me.

“Baby girl?” a soft voice said from her side and Eliza looked up into the blue eyes of the woman that had been her best friend.

“I can't talk to you, this is too much. I can't face having Hakon in prison, that's what she threatened. Please just let me go.” Eliza stood to leave, but fainted into Kai's arms, the stress becoming too much.

The drummer looked round “Come with me” he ordered the guard before he carried his burden backstage to the dressing rooms. He placed her carefully on the sofa, Rowan fussing over her,.

“You don't let anyone and I mean anyone in here til I get back. OK?”

“OK with me, the little lady is in a bad way.”

Kai rushed back on stage just in time to pick up the drum beat for the next number, grateful that the slow song had been guitar only this time, between that and the talking he'd been off stage for nearly seven minutes.

Bjartr mouthed “you're late” before swinging into the next number...

There were only three encores that night, before the men came off the stage. Kai grabbed an exhausted Bjartr and stopped him going to the main dressing room.

“Need to talk man” he said softly and pulled him off into one of the store rooms. “We had a visitor, a blast from the past so to speak”

“Who?” Bjarta asked, all he really wanted was a fag and a drink, he didn't need games, not tonight

“A lady we all loved very much. Lizzy's in with Rowan. Bjarta? Go easy on her, she's in a bad way. Just listen to her story before you blow.”

Bjarta stormed into the room, pushing passed the security man at the door not noticing the nod Kai had given him. He was ready to start shouting, til he noticed Eliza lying on the couch, covered by a blanket. It did nothing to hide the bump that dominated her abdomen.

“Lizzy, Baby. How are you?”
“Better for seeing you. Bjartr, why did you throw me out, why? What did I do wrong?” Rowan tried to calm the woman down, but wasn't having much luck.

“We thought you'd run away. Jonna said you just up and left.”

“She was the one who sent me away, said you'd had enough of me and my stalking you.” Eliza tensed as a shudder ran through her body.

“Baby, is everything alright.”

But Eliza was biting her lips, hard. “Lizzy what's wrong?”

“Baby's coming” she pulled back the blanket, and the group were horrified to see a pool of blood between her legs. “Have had problems all the way through, placenta praevia. Tell them at the hospital” she whispered as the pain got too much. The guard had already been on the phone.

“Ambulance is on its way” he told the group. We need to get her to the hospital as soon as possible.”


It was only a couple of minutes later that Jonna pushed her way through the gawping crowd to see Bjartr lifting Eliza onto a stretcher.

“I told you not to let her in,” she hissed at one of the security guards.

“I think you had better get out of our sight” Kai told the woman. “pack your bags and leave. I have never hit a woman, but I might just start now.”

“Lets us through, we're loosing them both” one of the paramedics shouted,

“Who's in the bus with us?” they asked as they loaded the guerney into the back and hit the blues and twos.

Bjartr climbed in for what was to be the scariest ride of his life. The ambulance raced through he city streets, cutting through the traffic.

“She said something about placenta pree something” he hated it when his English let him down. “Hold on baby, just a few more minutes, just hold on.”

Lizzy opened her eyes and looked into his. “I loved you so much. Look after yourself Bjartr. There's a letter in my bag, its got the address of the adoption agancy I found. You don't have to worry about a thing. Goodbye” she whispered “I wish I'd got to hold Hakon, just once.”

Her eyes closed again as the ambulance slowed, the back doors were opened and Bjartr saw a full theatre crew standing ready. As the guerney was pushed along the anaesthetist was busy shoving a mask onto Eliza's face and the last thing Bjartr saw was Lizzie being pushed through the doors marked 'Theatre personal only' as a knife headed for her abdomen.


Some nurse or other led him to a small side room and pointed to a phone. “I'll be back with the paperwork” she told him.

Bjartr stared stupidly at the phone, unsure who to call when his own mobile started ringing. He answered it on automatic.

“Which hospital?” Kai's voice asked from the other end

“Wha?” Kai switched to Norweigan. “Which hospital are you at, Mate. We're in the limo and on our way.”

Bjartr put his head out of the door and grabbed a passing uniform. “What hospital am I at?” he asked the dazed man.

“Queen Mary's maternity. You must be well out of it. Hey you're Bjartr Gunnerson from DER.”

But Bjartr ignored the rest, “Queen Mary's maternity.” He repeated into the phone, hanging up he waited for news.

It seemed like hours later he heard the door open. The only company he'd had was when a nurse had popped her head in and got him to fill out all the paperwork. He hated not knowing where Lizzie had been living, but at least he could answer most of the questions. But not the important ones, when was she due? Had she had any other problems with the pregnancy? Where was her ante natal file?. The door finally opened to let in Kai and the rest of the band. They had all come. Rowan leading the regular girlfriends in. Einnar and Leif looked as lost as he felt.

“The record company have been in touch. Jonna had got them to set up restraining orders against Lizzy, said she'd been stalking you. Its being sorted as we speak.” Kai said as the doors opened again. This time a doctor walked in, his gown covered in blood. Lizzy's blood.

“Are you Miss McKenner's family?” he asked politely.

“Yes, we are” Rowan said firmly. The doctor nodded


“The good news is that both mother and baby are alive at the moment. The little boy is in special care here and we are arranging a transfer to St Meade's children's as soon as we can. He's small and he doesn't want to breath on his own. Miss McKenner is resting after the operation. We managed to stop the bleeding, she should be alright. She'll be in recovery for an hour or so, then up to HDU. She lost a lot of blood. How she managed to keep the baby safe, well its a miracle.”

“when can we see her?” Rowan asked, clinging on tightly to Kai's hand.

“As soon as she wakes up one of you may go in. the rest, well tomorrow would be best. But there is a little boy needing someone to say hello to him.”

“Hakon, his name's Hakon” Kai told the man.

Bjartr hadn't said a word. He just got up and walked out the room following the signs to SCBU.

There were bright lights everywhere as he rang the bell and waited to be let in. people were staring at him and for the first time in years Bjartr hoped no one recognised him.

A young nurse led him to a crib where a tiny baby looked up, surrounded by leads and cables. There were monitors everywhere.

“Is he going to be alright?” Bjartr asked, not really believing that a human that tiny could live.

“He'll be fine. We've cancelled the transfer. He's a good strong boy, he'll just need a little help for the next few days. Didn't want to leave his mama. Do we have a name for him yet?”

“Hakon, Hakon Bjartrsson.”

Bjartr looked at the tiny baby in the incubator. “Your mother loves you very much, Son and so do I” he whispered.






The next night, on stage,Bjartr stood looking at the audience as the lights came up for the reading

“As most of you know, I don't normally let people know much about my private life, but today I'm going to. I became a father last night.”

There was a huge cheer from everyone there.

“To a beautiful baby boy. He and his mother gave me quite a scare. You might have seen in the papers.”

There was laughter all round. The picture of Bjartr covered in blood had been front page news,

“Well, mother is watching the show on the internet...Lizzy I love you more than anything. You just stay safe and i'll see you in a couple of hours.”

There was another cheer, “And could I ask you to say a prayer for Hakon who is still keeping the nurses busy in the SCBU”

Lizzy wiped away a tear and looked up at Rowan who hadn't left her alone all day.

“we'll make it work girl, we'll make it work.”

“I know” Lizzy said as she watched the rest of the show. Bjartr swept into a medley of all her favourites starting with Wicked games. “How can we not”